Jeff Foxworthy On Cleveland

I’m not a huge fan of email forwards, but I got this one over the weekend and had to pass it along. I’m sure you’re familar with Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Redneck If” schitick. Here’s a Cleveland version…

Jeff Foxworthy Cleveland
Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for WSB Radio
  • If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Cleveland
  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Cleveland
  • If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Cleveland
  • If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Cleveland
  • If”Vacation” means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Cleveland
  • If you measure distance in hours, you live in Cleveland
  • If you have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again you live in Cleveland
  • If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Cleveland
  • If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Cleveland
  • If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Cleveland
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 andeverybody is passing you, you live in Cleveland
  • If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Cleveland
  • If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Cleveland
  • If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Cleveland
  • If you find 10 degrees “a little chilly”, you live in Cleveland
  • If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Cleveland friends & others, you live [or have lived] in Cleveland
  • If the name ‘Slyman’s’ makes yer mouth water…. you live in Cleveland!

NOTE: I’m not QUITE sure if this can actually be attributed to Foxworthy. The email foward that I received had Slyman’s spelled “Sliman’s” which calls things into question. That said, it’s a pretty accurate list.

That’s Cleveland Baby!!!

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